[ from the way mo ran talks, he hasn't had any serious, intimate relationships either. it's something of a relief, knowing he isn't the only one lacking in experience there, although it shocks and saddens him because mo ran deserved far better than that, even when he was acting up and acting out.

when mo ran shifts in his arms, chu wanning wraps his arms around his shoulders, holding him close. with the shower, he can barely hear and can't run his fingers through his hair as he wants, but he rubs mo ran's back, trying to offer some affection. talking about the past isn't easy, and for all that mo ran has always been open with emotions, chu wanning knows little about his history. he'd assumed the loud, abrasive young man in his classes had been much like many of the others he'd had to deal with— comfortable, unconcerned with anyone but himself, destined for an easy life. mo ran had proven him wrong, which hasn't helped his attraction, and now he understands a little more about him.

it breaks his heart, thinking of mo ran on the streets. ]

Mo Ran. [ he cups that handsome, beloved face between his hands and kisses his forehead. ] You were only a child. Of course, you fought back. You're not a dog for that.

[ he's not terrible for his past or the things that happened to him, especially when chu wanning knows how large his heart is and how warm he is, a bright ray of sunshine in his dark and lonely life. ]

You can hold me all you want, Mo Ran. I'm not going anywhere. [ even if he's difficult and finds it hard to show or accept affection, there's no one else for him but mo ran. ] You—you're— I love you.