[ rather than fighting mo ran, chu wanning goes still, stiff as a board in his arms, still clinging to the shirt. it would be so easy to give in and relax into his hold, let mo ran smother him, something chu wanning wants, which is why he doesn't. maybe that would make his feelings obvious, although he's rational enough to know that they should talk. mo ran deserves to know chu wanning doesn't think of him as unworthy or whatever else has gotten into his head. he's done so much, grown so much, and all he's asking is that chu wanning meet him halfway.
now that he's taken off mo ran's shirt, chu wanning is bare-chested, but that doesn't stop him from reaching for one of mo ran's hands and guiding it to his chest this time, right over his heart. ]
I'm old. [ far too old for mo ran. chu wanning was old even before he was physically old, preferring to keep his circles small and spending his nights in. mo ran is sociable and lively and fun. it's no wonder that chu wanning was so drawn to him. ] And ugly, and bad-tempered, and I've never done anything like this.
[ he's never wanted anyone, but mo ran. never expected to want anyone. never prepared for it and had no idea what to do with it when he realized he liked mo ran. mo ran returning his feelings never actually factored into any of his musings. ]
no subject
now that he's taken off mo ran's shirt, chu wanning is bare-chested, but that doesn't stop him from reaching for one of mo ran's hands and guiding it to his chest this time, right over his heart. ]
I'm old. [ far too old for mo ran. chu wanning was old even before he was physically old, preferring to keep his circles small and spending his nights in. mo ran is sociable and lively and fun. it's no wonder that chu wanning was so drawn to him. ] And ugly, and bad-tempered, and I've never done anything like this.
[ he's never wanted anyone, but mo ran. never expected to want anyone. never prepared for it and had no idea what to do with it when he realized he liked mo ran. mo ran returning his feelings never actually factored into any of his musings. ]